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When you're not so stressed about trying to make it happen, it's way more likely that it'll actually happen, because you'll be relaxed enough to let go. View this photo on Instagram. I've had two serious boyfriends, many one-night stands and casual hookups. So maybe that's waiting until you're really turned on with a partner or while watching porn or when you're totally relaxed and have nothing else to do on a Sunday. It's great that you opened up to sexual educators at your school about this, but they may have been too rushed after a presentation to actually give individualized help.

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Remember, tons of women don't orgasm during penetrative sex , and that's perfectly fine. The next time a sex educator came to my school, I asked again and she kind of blew me off and said I need to masturbate, which made me feel really defeated because I do masturbate but don't orgasm. I masturbate quite a bit, so I don't think that's the problem. And in the meantime, try to enjoy the whole exploration part of the process. Back away from the clitoris. You've had an orgasm before — which shows you're definitely capable of them — and you'll have them again, says Herbenick. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to relax, get properly aroused, and get the right friction going.

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It's great that you opened up to sexual educators at your school about this, but they may have been too rushed after a presentation to actually give individualized help. Taking a semester-long human sexuality course at your college, if possible, would be a lot more helpful, says Herbenick. That way you can tweak the intensity to whatever feels good to you. Share On twitter Share On twitter Share. Distraction, anxiety, and pressure are all orgasm blockers. Rubbing or rocking might work better than vibrating. It's not arousing, and I find it quite boring.

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Description: This also might explain why your first orgasm happened when you least expected it. It's great that you opened up to sexual educators at your school about this, but they may have been too rushed after a presentation to actually give individualized help. When you're not so stressed about trying to make it happen, it's way more likely that it'll actually happen, because you'll be relaxed enough to let go. Get in the right mind-set. It's a flat-out lie that everybody can come after five minutes of rubbing around down there. If you start to find certain things feel great when you masturbate, don't be afraid to show your partner what you like. And in the meantime, try to enjoy the whole exploration part of the process. That said, maybe you don't like vibration of any kind, and that's totally fine, too.
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